Red State/Blue State
If you like the post office, you'll love universal care
DAVE SIMPSON & GREG BEAN

A political discussion between Red State conservative Dave Simpson - a former reporter, editor, publisher and columnist - and Greg Bean, Blue Stater and executive editor of GreaterMedia Newspapers. Let us know what you think.

Dear Greg:

It's the joyous holiday season, old friend, and there's a field trip I'd like you to take.

Ask that long-suffering wife of yours - a very nice person who deserved better than a husband who forgets to plug in the garage freezer and rots the Thanksgiving turkey - if she has any packages she'd like you to mail.

Then go to a post office - any post office will do - to mail those packages. And while you're standing in line with dozens, hundreds, heck, maybe even thousands of other people with stuff to mail in time for Christmas, all hot in their winter parkas, and tired from shopping, with wet, cold snowy feet, wishing they were anywhere, anywhere else in the world than at the post office - I'd like you to turn your thoughts to one thing, Greg:

Universal health coverage.

As you know, virtually every one of your favorite Democratic candidates for president has signed on to the idea of providing nationalized health coverage for all Americans. Like Pavlov's dogs, mention national health care and Democrats slobber like Labradors smelling crunchy peanut butter.

When it comes to Democrats, there's no question at all over turning our health care - a very complicated business - over to the same bureaucracy that decided it would be fun to sell Looney Tunes ties in post offices. The sooner Ted Kennedy is in charge of your case of hemorrhoids, the better, your Democratic best friends forever (BFFs) are saying, loud and clear.

I went to the post office this week to mail a letter, and the line was long. So I tried to buy a stamp from a machine, but the machine wouldn't take my dollar bill. So I drove across town to another post office, where the line was even longer, and this time the machine took my dollar but didn't give me any stamps.

A clerk saw I was having trouble. And do you know what she did to help? Did she give me my stamps? No, Greg, she gave me a FORM to fill out, in duplicate, to get my crummy dollar back.

Be honest now, Greg. Do you like the idea of standing in a long line of guys our age, in hospital gowns with no backs in them, waiting for some faceless, pro-labor government worker, who could go on break at any moment, to give us our prostate exams, with only our congressperson or senator to complain to if the guy has a cold finger?

Is that what you want when you go to the doctor, Mr. Blue State Democrat? And how confident are you that that won't happen?

M

y suggestion is simple. Until the

bureaucrats show us they can make the stamp machines in the post offices work, they can keep their paws off the health care system.

To borrow a phrase from Glenn Beck, I'm not a policy wonk, but I am a thinker, Greg. Surely we agree on this one.

Your BFF, Red State Dave

Dear Dave:

It might surprise you to know I've already taken the field trip you propose this season, several times in fact. And all I can say, pardner, is that it looks like you need a couple of new postmasters.

At my little community post office, and even at the bigger one across town, there have been small lines every time I've turned up to mail packages or cards, but they moved quickly and the men and women at the counter couldn't have been nicer or more helpful. I can't say enough good things about them, or the mail lady who delivers to our home, and often schlepps themail to our back door so Iwon't have to trudge all the way out to the box. And the stamp machines in both post offices I visit work perfectly, by the way.

So, if your point is that we should avoid universal health care until the post office can figure out how to provide a dependable stamp machine, I say you're worried about nothing and we should pass the legislation tomorrow. In the meantime, maybe you ought to look into why your post offices are so crummy. You were an investigative reporter, after all, and I suspect you still have the chops.

Fact is, I'm deeply suspicious of universal health care, Dave, and I'm not the only Blue Stater who has similar reservations. All you have to do is look at what's happened in countries where they have universal care, and you can't miss the shortcomings.

First of all, it's incredibly expensive. In Canada, which has universal health care, the graduated income tax in some provinces can reach 50 percent of gross income. In Sweden, the main tax rate is about 33 percent and in the United Kingdom the main rate is 30 percent. People with the highest incomes pay more, at least in theory.

The last thing we need in America is a huge jump in income taxes, and politicians ought to be smart enough to know that giving us one would be political suicide.

Second, it's ineffective. We've all heard the stories of Canadians dying before they can get an appointment with a specialist under the national health care plan. That's why so many of them come to America for treatment.

Third, after seeing the debacle the Republicansmade of theMedicare reformbill passed in 2003, which was a bonanza for drug companies and insurance companies but a nightmare for everyone else, I don't trust any of them to create an even bigger potential honey bucket.

I don't trust the Democrats either. I've seen what they're capable of, at both the state and national level. I live in New Jersey, after all, which experts say has the worst budget problems in the entire nation, and it's all the fault of our lawmakers.

So,mi amigo, I agree we ought to forget about universal health care for a while, at least until Ted Kennedy leaves office. The mere thought of him controlling the purse strings on my hemmorhoid treatment is enough to put me off my feed bag.

Cheers and salutations,

Blue State Greg

You can reach Greg Bean at gbean @gmnews. com. Dave Simpson can be reached at d_simpson@bresnan.net.