Counselor: Domestic abuse a community issue
Concordance panel told everyone must take responsibility
BY CHRISTINE VARNO
Staff Writer

LONG BRANCH - - Domestic violence is a community issue affecting people of all races, genders and ages, a counselor reported at the Long Branch Concordance (LBC) monthly meeting last week.

And agencies, such as 180 Turning Lives Around, can provide prevention, intervention and counseling for victims, families and offenders, said J.C. Williams.

"Domestic violence is one of the most complex counseling, social service issues out there," said Williams, outreach counselor coordinator at 180.

"It can happen to anyone," she said. "All of us can do something, no matter what it is. All of us have a responsibility."

The LBC hosted a domestic violence panel discussion with four panelists at its Jan. 10 meeting at the Brookdale Community College Learning Center on Broadway.

In addition to Williams, panelists included Barbara Montague-Graham, a senior primary counselor at Epiphany House; Sue Levine, domestic violence response team program coordinator at 180; and Clare E. Nowlan, staff attorney in the family unit at Ocean-Monmouth Legal Services.

Williams, who has been working at 180 for the past nine years, said one of the biggest things she has learned is humility while working with domestic violence.

"We are not the experts," Williams said. "The women, the children, the families living with domestic violence are the experts.

"They are living in a home torture zone every day," she continued, adding, "Victims do not know what each day is going to look like."

180 is a private, nonprofit organization, based in Hazlet that is dedicated to ending domestic violence and sexual assault in the community.

Williams explained that anyone can be a victim of domestic violence, and gave an example of what a typical case of abuse could sound like.

"One woman was told by her husband to have dinner on the table at 6 p.m.," Williams said. "She was on track for dinner when she got a call from school that her child was ill and had a fever.

"She took her child to the emergency room and dinner at 6 went out the window. She got a beating.

"Day two, same command ... but her sister called. [The sister's] car broke down and she left to help. She had dinner on the table at 6:10 p.m. and another beating.

"Day three she was told to have dinner on the table at 6," Williams continued. "Exactly at 6, she had the dinner on the table. A plate with food went flying past her head. Her husband told her he did not want meat loaf and mashed potatoes, he wanted chicken and rice."

Many women do not see the abuse coming and many other victims do not have support, according to Williams.

180 provides services ranging from transitional housing and counseling to hotlines and specialized care programs.

"Without intervention," Williams said, "domestic violence gets worse."

Domestic abuse is defined as the use of intentional emotional, psychological, sexual or physical force by one family member or intimate partner to control another, according to Montague-Graham.

She told those who attended the meeting that a woman in the United States is beaten every 15 seconds and more than three million children witness acts of violence against their mother every year.

Epiphany House is a halfway house that helps women become self-sufficient and chemical free.

One of 180's services includes the Domestic Violence Response Team (DVRT), which is an empowerment program that trains volunteers to act as domestic violence advocates.

The DVRT works through police headquarters in 33 municipalities in the state.

"Victims can walk into a police headquarters at anytime and ask for a (DVRT) advocate," Levine said at the meeting.

"Everything at police headquarters is confidential, other than homicide, suicide or child abuse," she added.

Volunteers go through a state-mandated 40-hour training program and serve on an on-call basis to provide victims with support and advocacy legal rights, safety planning, referrals for services and the dynamics of domestic violence.

"We will never tell a victim what to do," Levine said. "We are concerned about their safety. We provide support and advocacy. The best thing to do is to listen and not doubt them."

180, in conjunction with the Long Branch Police Department, is seeking community members to volunteer to be trained as DVRT volunteers.

For an application, or more information, call Detective Kimberly Leavy at the Long Branch Police Department, at (732) 571-5681.

"Victims have said when we parted ways at headquarters, 'I felt empowered'," Levine said.

The 24-hour domestic violence hotline number is (732) 264-4111 or 1-888-843-9262.

The LBC is a nonprofit agency that helps residents of coastal Monmouth County obtain referrals and resources for health care, housing needs, at-risk youth, rent and utilities, job development, language skills, domestic violence and other areas.

To reach the LBC, call (732) 571-1670, or visit the Web site at www.lbc4help.org.